Tips for Professional Mother Returning to Work - Tip #10 – Interviewing Essentials

Tip #10 - Interviewing Essentials

Your networking and resume writing has paid off.  You have been invited to the company for an interview.  Believe it or not, this is the part that most people mess up the most.  Some are so nervous they can't get comfortable, some are overly confident and go in under prepared, and others are just unable to get the words out that get their point across.

Again, as a professional recruiter, I would like to share the most common interviewing mistakes that we see everyday.  

1. Not understanding yourself - If you haven't read my previous tips, go back to the first tip.  Understanding who you are, where you have been, what you have done, and where you want to go are key to determining if the role you are interviewing for fits into your master plan.   When we see people who are unclear about these questions, it makes it hard for us to assess what they would be suitable for.  I am not suggesting that you know exactly what you should be doing and where, but by knowing what you are good at, what you enjoy, and where your interests lie, will give you the ability to assess which roles you want to pursue.

2. Not knowing enough about the company - I can't stress more the importance of knowing as much as you can about the company you are being interviewed at.  If all you have to go on is a job description and a brief glance at the website, you will find it difficult to determine whether the company values are aligned with your own.   Talk to people who have dealt with the company, read their press releases, financial statements (if public), and Management Discussion & Analysis (if public).  See if there have been any items in the press about the company.  Do they contribute to the community?  What can you see (or not see) about them that gives the company a personality?  
3. Not being able to answer tough questions - Be prepared for the predictable questions such as:  Tell me about your strengths, tell me about your weaknesses.  But more importantly, is to be prepared for behavioral type questions.   These questions focus on applicants past experience and behaviors in order to determine their potential for success.  They will try to assess specific competencies required for the role.  Typically, they start with "Tell me about a time when…".  For example:

• Tell me about a time when you had to deal with a conflict with a customer.
• Give me an example of when you worked in a team. What role did you play?
• Tell me about your most important contribution to your last employer.
• What qualities or talents would you bring to the job? Give examples of how you used these talents in your last role.

We recently had a situation with a candidate who was unable to come up with tangible examples when asked to describe what she accomplished in previous roles.  The questions were very specific to the job she was interviewing for and the employer wanted to dig further to have her explain what she did, how she did it, and what was the end result.  Due to the fact that her explanations were light on detail, she was not invited back for a second interview. 

• 4. Not following the interviewer's lead - Determine how much time you have in the interview and be sure to use it wisely. Watch the body language of the interviewer. If you think you are on a tangent, ask the interviewer if you have answered their question. The more you can turn the interview into a back and forth conversation, the more comfortable you will be.

• 5. Not dressing appropriately - I have only one thing to say about this (more next month), but for now, you can never be overdressed for an interview.

Lastly, the ONE thing you absolutely need to do is PRACTICE.  Practice out loud.  Practice in front of a mirror.  Be sure you can quickly and confidently come up with specific examples of situations in your career that will demonstrate why you are the person for the job.  

This is particularly important because as women, we tend not to talk ourselves up.  So it will actually feel strange to talk out loud about how great you are and what you have done to bring value to others.  In an interview, you are on your own.  Be confident and be able to let the interviewers know about YOUR accomplishments.  I know I know, you really want to give credit to your TEAM and how you couldn't have done it without them, but really, they couldn't have done it without YOU. 

Before you go into your meeting, take a deep breath, dry your palms, and say to yourself, "I rock".  You do.  Now, get in there and blow their socks off!

Mom Spotlight - Tara MacLean & Kim Stockwood from Shaye

Tara MacLean

Kim Stockwood

1) Let us know in your own words about the group Shaye (made up of Kim Stockwood, Damhnait Doyle + Tara MacLean).

KIM STOCKWOOD = About 7 or 8 years ago, myself and Damhnait Doyle sang at a EMI Music Canada 50th anniversary party, with another singer, and the President of EMI thought it would be a great idea if 3 girls did a record together.  At the time we were all doing different things and it just wasn't the right time.  A few years later it was the right time and Damhnait and  I were sitting in a cafe talking about who the third person could be when Tara's song came on the radio.  That was the sign we were looking for.  We called her right away and bribed her with the promise of Margaritas, and good times.

TARA MACLEAN = Shaye was the name of my little sister who was killed in a car accident 3 months after we started this project.  She was a friend to all of us and a beautiful woman.  Her name means courage and freedom
in Gaelic.  Damhnait was the one who suggested naming the group Shaye as a living tribute to my sister.

KIM =  I think I'm kinda the Mom in the band, probably because I'm the
oldest and the one that worries the most.  The girls would probably call
me Miss Switzerland!!!

TARA = We have a wonderful friendship.  Like any relationship, we drive each other crazy sometimes but we are stuck together so we have to work it out.  It is amazing that we have lasted this long!

3) Give us an overview of your home life - ie. tell us a bit about your children, your childcare arrangement, your husband/fiance's career and how you share the responsibilities at home?

KIM =  It's tough juggling, but we do it somehow.  My 2 boys aged 4 and 1 1/2 are in Daycare, which has been great for them.. My husband and I have scheduling calls where we plan the next couple of weeks duties.

TARA = I have Sophia, a 5 year old girl from my first marriage and Stella who is 1 year old from this partnership I am in now.  Ted is a wonderful father to both of my children and is extremely supportive emotionally which is a brand new experience for me!  Ted's work schedule is flexible as a yoga teacher/studio owner and he works from home quite a bit.  We both cook and do dishes, though I do the majority of the tidying.  We have someone come once a month to do a full cleaning of the house.  This is the greatest luxury in the world!!!! When I have shows, he will often take the kids .  If he can't, I hire a nanny to come to the show.  Usually that last arangement eats up any profits from the show but at least we get to play.  We have a part time nanny during the week who works from 9am to 2pm Monday to Thursday.  She just started and
it is so helpful in alleviating the stress of two careers, two kids and
a house hold to run.  There was some natural resentment on my part for
having to be the main caregiver to our baby for so long and having to work.  We do the family bed, attachment parenting thing and so I am the primary because I have the boobs.  As my girl friend has said, we need wives.  So Marivic comes in and makes my life so much easier, and the
tension disappeared and the stress went way down.  I decided that I
needed help and was not afraid to say so.  I don't feel the need to be super human and do everything including taking on guilt for having
someone help with the baby.  I am a woman, therefore, I am already super
human!  I pushed that baby out and that is the beginning of learning how
strong you are. There are no caregiving grandparents around so child
care is a major expense, but a nanny isn't as costly as I thought and in
Ontario, it is the same or less than day care!  I see so many of my
friends filled with stress and guilt and I find that when that sort of
thing creeps into my life, I am not as patient a mother as I could
be…and patience is the key.

4) Can you describe how being an artist has impacted your family life
and how you handle the demands of a public-facing career?

KIM =  I think my priorities have changed for sure.  I want to stay home
with my kids a lot more, although a few days on the road is like a
vacation for me now.

TARA =  I feel like until now I have been winging it.  Taking my kids
with me when I could, and just getting by.  It is exausting being on the
road and when you have a nursing, kicking, or sick baby up at night and
you havebreakfast television, you count on the make up person a great
deal.  When I was younger it wasn't so bad, but now I am 33 and a night
without sleep is rougher on me than it was in my twenties!  I have found
one challenge in particular of having to keep up with clothes for shows
and press.  When I am pregnant, I gain a lot of weight…fifty pounds or
so…so I need size 6, 8, 10 and 12 on my way up, and on my way down
after the baby is born, I need clothes that aren't prenatal, but in
those sizes.  It is hard and expensive to stay current.  If I wasn't in
the public eye, it wold be sweatshirts and leggings.  Getting fit after
the baby is also important, because playing a show is a marathon and so
is a tour.  You need to have energy!  Of course, breastfeeding is
helpful, but it is also tiring and you hold the last 10 lbs until you
stop feeding…at least that is what women with my body type tend to do.
You also have to be careful not to get wrapped up in what you look like
on TV when you have the baby weight on because it adds more weight.  In
fact, you pretty much have to let it all go and just love your body for
all it has accomplished and know that part of what we sacrifice in
becoming a mother is our previous shape.  It can take two years for our
bones to go back to their original positions and sometimes it never
happens.  Everything is different so we must embrace that.  So in a
world that is so image driven, it is a battle to let go of seeing myself
from the outside in.  It is a test of confidence and inner beauty and
just maybe breaking down the unhealthy paradigm of what a 'successful'
woman is 'supposed' to look like.

5) Of your female friends with children how many of them continue to work now that they have children?

KIM =  Most of them.

TARA =  Very few of my friends don't work.  Many take a year off and
then are happy to go back to work, but a few have stayed home and find
that extremely fullfilling as well.

6) Can you offer any advice for achieving a balance between your family life and your career?

KIM =  Learn to say no to things.  When your schedule or guilt of being
too busy is overriding the fun, or time with your kids - stop and be
with them.

TARA =  I would have to say Yoga is the key to sanity and to balance for
me.  Also, time alone in the bath (with no bath toys or children coming
in and out).  It replenishes my peace.  We also get together at night as
a family and talk about what we are grateful for.  Life is a balancing
act, so when it starts tipping one way, it is important to see that and
get back on track.  Priorities are important,too.  First, our own
spritual well being, then our partner, then our children, then our
community and then our planet.  I try to work that way because nothing
can be right if I am not right.

7) Please share with us the greatest adventure you have had with your children?

KIM =  Watching them learn, seeing their vocabulary just burst open, and
of course when they tell you they love you is the best thing I've ever
heard in my life!

TARA =  With Sophia it is harder to pick one because she is 5 and we
have had so many.  We went on an amazing treasre hunt once that took
hours and canoe rides and hikes through the woods and it lead to two
rings, one little one for her and a matching one for me from Ted, asking
us to be his family.  Stella came to Thailand when she was 3 weeks old.
We are planning to take them both to India next year for 6 weeks.

We'd love to hear from Moms who are balancing or trying to
balance their lives.  I think we can all learn from each other. - Kim Stockwood

Hello Super heroes!  If there is anything you would like to know
further, please ask.  I am an open book and I have made a million
mistakes, but have had some victories as well.  If only there was a
handbook for parenting, but it is a magical, transformative journey that
shows us who we really are, what we have to heal, and where we are the
most powerful.  All of this is a part of becoming whole, I presume…so
if we don't go crazy parenting, we might just come through it better
people. - Tara MacLean

Send in your questions about achieving a work/life balance and you will be entered to win one of ten fabulous new Shaye CDs - Lake of Fire. (Contest open to Canadian residents only.)

Tara and Kim can be reached at shaye@yummymummycareers.com.

Nanny Screening and Selection- The First Phase

Janet MacDonald is the Owner and President of OptiMum Childcare and Nannies Inc. (est. 1989) Janet MacDonald can be reached online at http://www.optimum.com/

If you have any questions about this or any other topic relating to nannies please feel free to contact Janet MacDonald by email at opti-mum@shaw.ca.

Many parents become overwhelmed when recruiting and screening nannies. Although this process can seem complicated, it is manageable when you break it into these smaller stages In this article telephone screening and resume review will be addressed. 

Telephone Screening

Advertising for childcare usually results in many telephone enquiries. This is a good time to assess language ability and ensure that the candidates meet your basic requirements (ie: live in or live out, part time or full time, salary expectations, experience and availability). Ask only the short-listed applicants to forward a resume and ensure that they have good references that can be contacted to verify past employment.

Resume Review

Screening resumes will save you time as you will be selecting only qualified candidates for interviews.

Here are some guidelines for reading and interpreting resumes:

• Does the applicant have childcare or early childhood education certification?
• What other educational designations does the candidate possess (first aid, food safe, cooking classes etc)?
• Examine related childcare experience.  Focus on the past 5 to 10 years.
• Look for volunteer work that may have enabled the candidate to acquire knowledge and develop skills that may be useful as a nanny.
• Pay close attention to gaps in work history and make sure the applicant has a reasonable explanation.
• Look for patterns in a candidate's work experiences (like frequent career changes, employment instability and short term work assignments without legitimate reasons for leaving positions).
• Does the candidate live close to your home and if not, do they have reliable transportation?
• Remember that first impressions from a resume can be misleading. You may find a very good candidate from an incomplete resume if you pursue the missing links and information gaps. But be sure to do this on the phone before arranging an interview.

Once you have short- listed to a small number of applicants, send them a detailed job description before you start to interview. This will allow you to spend less time talking about job details and more time listening as the candidate discusses qualifications and experience. In my next article I'll cover effective interview techniques.

Diversification and Your Investment Portfolio

Jennifer Kirby, BA(Hon),CFP,RHU,CLU Kirby Financial Group Inc.  Jennifer is a Certified Financial Planner and is the principal of Kirby Financial Group in Calgary. 

The expression "don't put all your eggs in one basket" applies to many things in life, especially when it comes to investing. Diversification is one of the most important principles to keep in mind when constructing an investment portfolio.

Diversification allows you to take advantage of many different types of investments that may perform differently from year to year. Franklin Templeton Investments has a great diversification presentation that shows that no single asset class has been a top performer for more than a few consecutive years.  Statistically, the odds of one asset class performing consistently better than another year over year is unlikely. Check out http://www.franklintempleton.ca/ and click on "why diversify".

For example, in 2002 Canadian Bonds performed the best out of any asset class for an overall return of 8.7% (as measured by the Scotia Capital Universe Bond Total Return Index). Investors were thrilled with the bonds in their portfolio because other asset classes had performed so poorly. However, one year later, in 2003, Canadian bonds were the 2^nd worst performing asset class at 6.7%.  People who owned bonds that year likely dumped them for Canadian stocks since they performed the best in 2003.

Since it is impossible to predict which asset class will perform the best in any given year, diversification can give investors the opportunity to take part in the "hot" sectors of the economy while protecting their portfolio when the market declines. A diversified portfolio should contain different asset classes, investment styles, mixture of stocks and assets from different geographic regions. 

Asset classes

The first type of asset class includes cash and guaranteed investments - the class that provides investors the certainty that their money will be there when they need it. This would include savings accounts, GICs, and fixed income funds such as money market funds.

The next type of asset class is equities or stocks.  Although the value of stocks can fluctuate over time, historically, investors will achieve a higher rate of return if they are in equities vs. fixed income or guaranteed investments. 

The most speculative asset classes are real estate, commodities, gold, collectibles and gems. These asset classes can produce the highest return, however, they also have the most risk because of the unpredictability of the return. Investors with a high-risk tolerance and a good base of other investments are best suited for these types of investments.

Investment styles

Investment managers choose investments in a variety of different ways. Having several management styles also provides diversification. "Top down" fund managers look at the overall economy and then identify sectors that they think will outperform. "Bottom up" managers focus on individual company fundamentals and focus less on how the economy is doing as a whole. 

Investment styles can also be classified as value and growth. A growth manager will look for companies with an expectation of strong continued growth. A value manager would look for companies with a low stock price relative to its market value. 

Stock Mix

Once the asset classes have been selected, investors should select individual stocks to make up their portfolio.  An investor may be interested in Company A vs. Company B because they think that Company A has the ability to grow their company and increase profits over time. 

Geographic regions

Geography is also important when diversifying an investor's portfolio. Many Canadians are primarily invested in Canada; but since the Canadian market represents about 3% of the world financial markets, investors may be missing out on great opportunities in other regions. A good portfolio mix may include Canadian, US, and international companies. 

With so many investment options and products on the market today, investors are often overwhelmed and left wondering if they are in a portfolio that is right for them. A good financial advisor can help determine your risk tolerance and the most appropriate investment mix given your financial goals. 

Check out http://www.franklintemplton.ca and click on "why diversify".

A Blueprint for Balance: Defining your Individual Course for Life

By Michelle Vandepol.  Michelle writes for the Agassiz Harrison Observer and magazines such as SUCCEED and Woman Alive. Her debut novel Mother Mexico will be published by iUniverse in early spring. Look for excerpts online at her blog www.nothisplace.blogspot.com.

Run a quick mental check: do you know anyone who claims to have the work/life balance completely figured out? Likely your friends are working it out the same way you are: doing too much one week, coming home late from work, being crabby at kids, and foregoing a needed shower to do one more household chore or work item and then crashing into bed. And then when exhaustion hits: lying on couch, watching TV, not getting anything done. The house a mess and you're feeling like you're doing the bare minimum at work. The swinging back and forth between excelling at work and excelling at home is what causes us to seek for a balance, hoping that balance will be an easier form of living that will have excellence stamped all over everything. It is a combination and a compromise of the two that will lead you to balance. It means realizing that there will be some days you will have to slow yourself and your schedule down and others you will have to kick yourself to get going and have enthusiasm for the life that's on your plate. Having both kinds of days and working with them; is in fact, balance.

Balance comes from working with the circumstances you have. Those circumstances might not change in a hurry, but that's okay. Even if they are franetic, you work on remaining calm and moving forward. Start focusing your balance scope right now on your own life situation. The biggest barrier to a balanced life is to try and balance it exactly like the most balanced woman you know. It will not work for you exactly like it works for her. She might have more challenges that force her to do things the way she does that you know nothing about. Or she might have more help than you do and is able to delegate a large portion of her at home workload, leaving you feeling overwhelmed in your efforts. While you can take example from an efficiently run life, you need to find your own.

The first step is to take stock of life as it currently stands. Writing down everything you are filling your time with lets you know where you have room to rearrange things later. It is similar to what people do when they find they are running out of money or calories every month. Track them to order them, the experts say. Accepting your individual circumstances let you let your life play out the way it was intended to. It is about purposing the things that are in your life for the best at any given time.

Raising children while working is multi-faceted. It is about providing for them and maintaining a sense of self; nurturing them and staying sane. Is it possible to do all that while striving ahead career wise. No one will know what success or settling or selling out will look like for you, but you. Write your home and work goals on a card that you can refer to and remind yourself of what your true goals are when you are in the thick of life and drowning in the chaos.

There will always be things you can cut back. There will be things you cannot. There will be things you do not want to do, but have to. There will be things you want to do and cannot. Do not be afraid of a little self-sacrifice. This might sound like a silly thing to say to someone who is already pulled in a thousand directions, but things that seem at first like sacrifice, may in fact later be recognized as freedom. Play the what if game in your mind. For example: what if I don't take this promotion yet? What if I can work through lunch and get off early? What's the worst that will happen if I venture off on my own and stay home with the kids? Say no to my boss on her constant overtime scheduling? In running scenarios through your mind, you will start to put potential results on the choices you could make, helping you see the big picture now. In multiplying your options, you run a higher chance of making it all work for you.

Balancing life with home might make you think about a languid pace. The truth is, while that might be true of a few select days, most of the time that pace will leave you with a hundred things yet to do at 10pm.Try the same list making skills that get you ahead at work and make a list of your home goals. Helping your child learn to ride his bike, finish his homework earlier, check out that new restaurant or catch a movie as a family, do a board game, go to the beach, make cookies. Then post those goals somewhere you will see them frequently and you will be inspired to take action. If you are regularly scheduling things that you know you and your family want in your life then you can also sort through what are your kids' genuine requests and what are their guilt trips. You will at some time have to rationally and calmly deal with the self-centeredness of a child who has spent an evening at the movies with you and is now tired and cranky and saying you don't do anything with her. This will happen because your children need help learning balance as well. They would sign up for a steady diet of fun and hot dogs if it was an option.

Even if you have little time for traditional me time, there are still ways you can practice self-care. The most basic is to take a moment to consider what adding more obligations to your life will be like before you do it. When you do sign up for new things, do it for a trial period. (eg. To your child, we'll try karate in our schedule for one month to start - maybe book a workshop instead of an entire set of lessons; for a volunteer position, I will help this one time instead of signing up for the committee with regular meetings) Just like signing up unnecessarily for regular monthly payments on something new when it's not necessary, we can do the same draining thing with demands on our time.

Balancing life is a daily thing. Even if you find your time used inefficiently, your money being wasted, and your stress level sky high and you read an article in a simplifying magazine about how to do it the right way from an organizational guru with happy kids, trying to implement it over the weekend and expecting balance by next week is not realistic. Balance for the working mom is doing a lot of things at the same time, and well, but not perfect, and doing them while feeling not hurried most of the time. If you are feeling hurried the majority of the time, you are likely taking on more without cutting back in another area.

This concept is also easily compared to what happens if you keep shopping for things for the house without making regular trips to the thrift store to get rid of the things the new stuff was supposed to replace. It can quickly get out of control. Stay on top of both the possessions and obligations you have by tackling things in a little by little way, and you won't be as derailed when you inevitably get sick on the weekend you were planning to finally tackle the mess or the work.

A note on the subject on getting rid of clutter: for the record, anyone who suggests working moms should hold garage sales to get rid of the stuff in their houses and make a little extra money should be stopped. That sort of thinking is what leads to an overburdened schedule. Why add another time consuming activity in an attempt to regain balance when there are many more valuable uses for your time? Keep a small shopping bag in each closet of the house for purges as you come across them - clothes that your kids don't fit, things that look horrible on you. If you find yourself stockpiling things that break to be repaired, unless you actually do it, throw the broken stuff away. Same with the chipped knick knacks. Your home will thank you and you will not have to give up a whole Saturday to act as a retail outlet.

Your calendar is an easy way to see if your life is in balance. Move things from your career goal list, family list, me time list, and grocery list all on the same calendar and don't forget to plan for the things that take the time we didn't budget. Changing the oil before a car drive out of town, making the cookies with the kids for the class party, buying your mother a birthday present are all things which will need some of your time. Writing it all down will help you say no to things you cannot fit it, if all the details of your upcoming week are laid bare before your eyes.

The calendar can also do financial duty. A few days before payday, take stock of disposable income and upcoming obligations (gifts, outings with family, car oil change, meal to bring to potluck following week, getting the kids swimsuits before lessons start etc.) and sprinkle both money allotted and days on which you can accomplish the errands on the calendar. Then think of the girlfriends and their kids or play dates you owe or places you promised to take the kids and throw those in on the matching day. Getting the car's oil change with reward of taking kids to dollar store after where you can pick up small items for gifts, gift wrap, and disposable dish for potluck and then heading to play center to let kids run off steam while you catch up with girlfriend, read magazines, sit in the ball pit, or make another list (this might count as me time if you settle for less than the spa).

Working mothers are all too familiar with days that seem like weeks for all the activity they cram into them. I recently emailed someone to ask her how her week had been and she reminded me that it was only Tuesday. It felt like late Thursday or Friday to me. I knew it was time to slow down. The calendar is also helpful for this sort of scenario, reminding yourself of all the current day's components. Another popular way to do this is to have a done list separate from your to do list on which you list those things you did regardless of whether they were on your list. Reading to the kids (check), bagging all the recycling (check), ordering more business flyers (check). You'll quickly see what needs a few more minutes tomorrow and what you have covered already.

For all you super housekeepers, you can spend your whole life cleaning if you want to, but a balanced life begs you not to. Pat yourself on the back for what you can accomplish with your family's help and hire someone if it still falls short of what you can live with. Then rush outside and play with the kids.

Life can also be hit off kilter by overindulging the kids you felt you didn't spend enough time with in the week come payday Friday, but blitzing on them will only create new forms of stress. A balanced life still includes the unpleasant bits such as putting your foot down and saying no sometimes.

Stretching out work and reward for both you and the family over the calendar will make for pleasant memories and accomplished tasks. In enjoying both, you will teach your children about a balanced life so that they will be armed with the skills when its time to run theirs.