Too Busy Syndrome

Written by Michelle Vandepol; author of Mother Mexico

I’m a mother, you know what that means, I do my little turn in the carpool, the car pool, yeah, the car pool, I do my little turn in the carpool.
I’m too busy for my life, too busy for my life, too busy… it hurts.

You may sound like Right Said Mom

But the reality is that it’s not that appealing, is it? The truth is, throwing out the B-word is the ultimate twisted modern brag. It seems to prove our achievement levels or work ethic or popularity or something. Except that it doesn’t. If anything, it could be argued that being busy (without time for reflection, getting together with friends, or family dinners) could be a symptom of an unbalanced life.

That said, there are ways to recognize the busy syndrome and to move away from being one of those “I’m so busy” people. So go ahead. Make your life easier.

Ironically you will be the breezy relaxed getting-it-all done mom only when you recognize your limitations. Write down all the things others seem to have time to do, but you don’t. List the stuff that’s on your plate currently. Take a peek behind the scenes. For example it might look like your girlfriend has time for crafts and fun outing with the kids in addition to her work schedule, but it might turn out that she doesn’t log any TV or shopping time. There are a lot of ways we can save time. Ask around and find out which ones appeal to you. That said; don’t be shamed into spending your time or money on others’ priorities. It won’t feel right. Do what works for you and your family.

Pare down belongings. Even if you are a shopper by nature – and especially then. Even if you’re not, there are a lot of ways things can enter our homes even if we’re not out shopping for them. How about when your neighbour gifts you with a bunch of outgrown clothes for the kids or mom passes down extra sets of flatware? Sort through, and if you are not currently short of stock, cycle some of the stuff through the house and onto another home via a friend who could use it or a nearby thrift store. If it’s a bit late and your guest room is stocked up to the ceiling, you can still make room in time for Christmas guests. Start by moving any still-in-the-packaging purchases to a newly started gift closet (if you don’t have one already) and tackle a bit every day. Remember that if you are moving a box worth of stuff to other locations in the house, those locations need to be weeded out in turn to avoid overload.

Simplify your schedule. Just like things, calendar clutter is claustrophobic. Move what you can to a later date and once you have the day planner under control, make an effort to keep it in line. I learned this the hard way when signing up three sons to play for the same minor soccer league all playing on Saturday when my husband works every Saturday. Now I really know I really can’t be in two places at once. And it’s not just soccer. Sometimes you will have to say no to work or something social (for you or the kids). It’s impossible to fit it all in all of the time.

Make a central place for lists, bills, notices etc. I’m sure you’re not in the majority of us losing those kinds of things, but in case you are; a basket and a bulletin board in the kitchen and longer term storage to put the bills in once you’re on to the next month will save a lot of headache.

Another way to lessen schedule stress is to spread things out. There will always be periods of more activity, but instead of letting chaos pool into certain crevices on the calendar (the weekend, for instance), consciously even it out over the course of the week. Look at the calendar and pick up the things you need ahead of time. Circumstances do not have to be perfect for you to do so. Even if you’re waiting for payday to pick up the stuff, do what you can now – get child to make birthday card, plan the bulk of your menus with what you have in the house already, hang up the outfit separately in your closet for the event you have to go to.

It may seem like all the little organizing tricks that we accumulate are so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but it is these little tricks that enable us to do a bit of everything and come out on the other side with personal achievement, a happy family, and the sense that we are not shortchanging anything or anyone important including ourselves.

Another easy step to do today to make tomorrow easier, is to book one week ahead on the calendar. Don’t be afraid to say “it doesn’t work this week”. If it’s something you’re not into, do away with it completely or block it into the shortest time block possible. After all, it’s your life. How your spending it should reflect what’s important to you.