Elena Verlee – Adventures of an Expat Mom:Moving Out and Moving In

“What do you think of living here for a year?” asks my husband, phoning from the Philippines where he was away on business. “A year?” I ask, stunned. Our new baby was just eight weeks old, and along with my six year old son we were supposed to follow him to Manila for our yearly winter getaway, but a year seems a long time to be away from home.

We talk through the pros – I have family there, with the baby so young it would be great to have a live-in maid and nanny that costs about $100 a month in local rates, the weather would be warm year round and as he builds his company, I wouldn’t have to work.

Hmm. Being a mom entrepreneur that doesn’t qualify for Canada’s year of maternity leave, I’d have to be honest that was the clincher for me. I don’t even listen as he talks about the cons. I pack up a couple of suitcases, gleefully loading only summer wear and the kids and I are on the plane to Manila two weeks later.

Moving in with Friends
Lucky for us, we have a friend that offers us two bedrooms in her home to get settled in. I’m a bit nervous moving in – it’s one thing to like a friend, it’s another to have to live in the same house for an unspecified amount of time. However, this isn’t like the college days where we move onto a friend’s couch. This house is more of a mansion, complete with three maids, two drivers and two security guards.

Sometimes we don’t even realize the other one is home and communicate via text messaging. Text messaging is a way of life here, with approximately a billion messages being sent and received every day! Even those on the poverty line have cell phones and it’s a requirement for staff – whether household help, office workers or even drivers – to have a cell to communicate with employers. It’s their version of email on a Blackberry.

How I know I’m in Manila
“Please don’t drive here,” my brother begs me. Not that he’s worried I’ll get into an accident, or I’ll get lost. He’s just worried I’ll taint the family name with my driving habits. Both my brothers are race car drivers, and among other things, they have taught over 10,000 people racing, road safety or defensive driving techniques. Unfortunately, I am not one of those 10,000 so I agree to give the keys to someone else.

Not that I mind. Driving here is like a game of “chicken” to see who will flinch, maps are useless as new streets pop up constantly and one-way streets change direction on a policeman’s whim, especially if he wants to make a little money on the side. Sometimes there are three or four of them on a corner, waiting for unsuspecting drivers to break a law. Traffic here can also boggle the mind, it can take you 45 minutes to an hour to travel five kilometers if you travel to the wrong place, at the wrong time.

What I’m looking forward to
Still, as I wake up each day with the opportunity to enjoy my kids on a leisurely basis, I am grateful. My husband is grateful I’m not so grumpy. The transition to having two kids versus one is eased by having someone else to help with the chores. Today, as I put on my daily uniform of shorts, tank top and flip flops and try to decide whether I should have an hour footscrub and pedicure for $10 at a high-end salon, or an in-home massage for $10, my vanity also decides the year here will be well worth it.

© Elena Verlee 2008

Elena Verlee is a serial entrepreneur, speaker and author of a publicity guide for mom entrepreneurs called www.PRinYourPajamas.com She is also a mentor coach accredited by the International Coaching Federation. Get her free life coaching course for moms at www.elenaverlee.com . Stay tuned for more of her adventures as an Expat Mom.