How To Deal With the Stresses of the Festive Season

by Michelle Vandepol; Author of Mother Mexico.

Don’t buy into it. If your usual Christmas celebrations involve throwing a lot of coin around, change how you do things this year. There are many ways to scale back. Spend a little less money and a little less time looking for the things for people on your list. Taking the pressure off of yourself to find “the perfect gift” for everyone means you can spend a bit of time looking for something thoughtful and within your budget and leave giving at that. Make it about the memories. Trinkets are nice, but the bonds from just hanging out as family and friends are around a lot longer and make Christmas fabulous even when the money’s not there.

Spend a bit of time during lunchtime or naptime or the carpool home thinking of ways to make your holiday life easier. For example, penciling out plans for the kids’ 2 weeks off school – making one special memory a day but allowing for downtime too will allow you to keep your mind during those days that either make or break those days before and after Christmas. Keep the ages of your kids in mind. For nappers, doing something fun every morning with the whole family means you still have quiet time to get work and self care done in the afternoons. For non-nappers you can plan things for the afternoon or early evening. If your work schedule doesn’t allow for daytime gallivanting, take advantage of extended seasonal hours to catch holiday fun with the kids in your neighbourhood at night. Get work out of the way now, and plan to have some upcoming days off if you can.

Don’t be too accommodating to others’ plans. You have your own schedule to worry about. If your plans coincide with a friend’s or you specifically want to get the kids together over the holidays, fine; but if you are being pushed around by Sally next door and her constantly changing plans that inconvenience you, just say no and recommend that the two of you plan something for after the holiday season.

Keep up on the wrapping and shopping. You can avoid having to shop too near to Christmas by looking now and inventorying the stuff you’ve already collected. Wrap what you have and keep a list of presents still to buy. Try one stop every day or two (even better if you can put it together with another errand you have to run like picking up milk) and get a few more gifts crossed off your list. If you find you are overwhelmed by the long list of seasonally obligatory gifts (teachers, coaches, and the like), save them the hassle of finding a place for the apple mug and just write a heartfelt season’s greeting on the inside of a card your child hand makes (conveniently keeping them busy for a few moments as well).

Too often in the bustle of the lights and festive party wear, we wear ourselves out spiritually by not plugging into our lives the events that truly give us the meaning of the season. Without something deeper, the season is an expensive shiny hollow series of events. Place into your calendar some plans with more meaning like caroling, seasonal services, or serving food at the local shelter. Without the need to schedule are simple tricks like turning on Christmas radio and keeping change on hand to give to the kids for the kettles in front of the grocery stores.

Doing Christmas errands on mom time (not having to navigate stores with kids, spending ½ as much etc) and using your precious time with the kids to do crafts, collect pinecones for the mantle, go for a walk, stop for hot chocolate, and decorate some gingerbread will mean less hassle and more special for the next month. If you are looking to spend an afternoon shopping, run off the beaten chain store path and visit the independent retailers in your community for a more relaxed pace.

When you carve out the extraneous things that don’t add to your holidays, you also make time for yourself. Keep the inner girl inside the multi-pulled mom happy with a bit of time spent on hobbies, indulgences, date nights, and eggnog lattes with friends.

Somebody last year told me they gained weight from hitting the drive thru so much during Christmas shopping all December – that made me sad. Put on weight eating treats with your friends at cookie exchanges or at work parties or with the ice cream after the parade, but don’t let the season be an endless circle around the drive through as you log more time at the mall than at home. It’s up to you the shape of your December. The less you engage in consumerist activities, the better off your memory bank of the season.